Thank you

My writing has started to slow down. I think mainly I've quit moping and dwelling as much as I had been or maybe it has become easier to deal with everything that I'm feeling. I no longer feel like I'm going to explode if I don't throw up my emotions and thoughts on paper. 

Or maybe I'm happier? ...Maybe I'm busier? (Is that even possible?) 

The last 2 weeks Todd has shown the most improvement that I've seen since those first few days when he woke up for the first time. I knew progress would be slow and I'm okay with that (at least that's what I keep telling myself) but it's hard for me to see slow progress since I'm with him everyday. He has absolutely amazed me and given ME a second wind. He gave me another burst of hope. It was much needed. My hope and faith were starting to run dry that we would continue to see progress. I thought we had plateaued... but once again, this little stinker proved me wrong. 

Although he significantly affects how I am and my demeanor... I do have to give credit where it is due. First of all my family. Everyone has been such an amazing supporter. From the one text message in a blue moon, to the letters to let me know you are thinking of me, to the care packages and monetary help. Every single bit of that has helped keep me strong on my feet. To the phone calls to talk about nothing, to giving me my space and respecting it, to respecting decisions that you may not necessarily understand or agree with. To just simply letting me know that you love me and are here for me. For awhile I thought I was alone. Even with this giant family. I felt like no one understood and I would forever be an outsider and different. This is not the case and I have felt more love from all of you than I can ever explain. 

Second of all my fiance. He has put up with my emotional roller coaster. He has walked on egg shells around me. He has gone so far out of his way just to get one tiny half smile out of me. Even if it means I'll have another meltdown immediately after. He's held me and cried with me. He's laughed with me at things we should not be laughing at but they were so bad that what else could we really do? He's held my hand through our fights... through our bickering. He hasn't given up that one day I will be sane again. I've never experienced someone with more patience than him... I love you. 

Third of all my friends. Just having normal conversations goes farther than you all know. The snapchats, text messages, random Facebook comments definitely give my life a little less weight. I don't feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I can laugh a little. Relax. You guys brought me back into the real world even if I did come kicking and screaming. From being my gym buddy, to having pool days, to the random frozen drink night.... I feel human again. I feel like Lauren again. 

We sent out wedding invitations yesterday too. It gets closer and closer so fast. I know it will be here before we know it. In a sense I can't wait... but in another, I'm finally happy and enjoying myself... I want to stop and enjoy it for a bit... not speed through it.