Mommy for the Win

We've had a pretty uneventful couple of days since he laughed & smiled. We got a few days to relish in that :) Of course once he laughed and smiled again... we automatically jump to, 'Hey, maybe he'll laugh and smile all the time now.' Of course this is not the case. But we keep hope that we can see it at least once a day... we did yesterday and that's good enough for me. It's a long road and you have take pride in the tiny moments and accomplishments.... which brings me to the point of this blog.

Even as a nurse, there are only so many things I can do that greatly impact the course of all of this. It is what it is... you have to go though the motions and deal with each step and each event as they come. We've been struggling with him being all congested and having all kinds of junk in his mouth and the back of his throat... his lungs are fine. No matter how many times we suctioned out his throat, nose, and mouth there was always more. I started to worry again that he wouldn't clear his airway and blah blah blah and we would start seriously having to consider a trach again. As Gru says from Despicable Me, 'LIGHTBULB!' He was on allergy medication at home before all of this... perhaps these are all from allergies... Yes, we're in a hospital, but the allergens still make their way in. I believe he got his first dose 2 days ago... I didn't notice how clear he had been all day and all night until Brian mentioned it to me this morning. Wow. That's exactly what it was! Yes, I have to give myself a pat on the back for that one... Mommy for the Win.

During this whole situation it's been hard to talk to people about what's going on. Even other people who have had sick children or kids in the ICU. It's different. A brain injury is so different than anything anyone could ever experience as a parent of said child or even as the person themselves. As I'm sure there are many other conditions and situations I still wouldn't be able to relate to. I found a support group through Facebook specifically for parents of children with brain injuries. Best decision I've made in awhile. These are some very smart individuals that have tried everything and have researched everything just like I've been doing. They have success and failure stories. Not only are we able to discuss different therapies and treatments, but also all the feelings and emotions that go along with this type of injury. It's so nice to know I'm not crazy for having some of the thoughts that cross my mind. I've always heard of melatonin supplements to help you sleep. I've never personally tried it, but I've heard of people who have. Apparently, it's a fairly common medication that brain injury patients take to help them sleep. Todd hasn't been sleeping through the night, he sleeps mostly from around 5am-12pm... not the right time. He's already on Valium, and that puts him out, but we don't want him totally zonked... we need him to wake up and start doing things too. He needs to participate in therapy. Both times we've stood him up he has slept though it lol. I brought this idea up to the team, and of course they were okay with it because it wasn't a narcotic lol. We gave him his first dose last night... All 3 of us slept like babies... it was the first night in a LONG time that we all slept a decent amount of time & Todd woke up wide awake as opposed to still being pretty groggy. Again, Mommy for the Win.

I don't mean to brag too much, but I have to feel like I'm doing something. So often I feel like I'm just sitting, waiting around. I felt so productive. So accomplished. 

The rep from the rehab hospital, Brooks, came by on Monday to see him and talk to me about their program. Luckily they came during therapy. They saw him at one of his best moments. They sounded very optimistic and said they would go ahead and start reserving him a spot. He's on the border between the 2 programs they offer. He's a level 3 on the scale right now which only qualifies him for 2 weeks of therapy then home until he 'emerges' more, but if he will start doing things more purposefully and follow commands he is automatically a 4 and qualifies for much more therapy. I feel like he could be a 4 if we could get him off the Valium and some of the other medications that sedate the snot out of him. Fingers crossed.