Given Todd's current state... he is going to need a lot of time devoted to him. Is it fair to take time away from him? Would it even be feasible? After watching him suffer, are we sure we want to bring another child into the world?
On the other hand, as I've been talking to people in support groups... it may be helpful. Interacting with another growing child could possibly be beneficial to him. He always did want a sister. He could relearn things with this other child and they actually might have a relationship.
Would it be fair to said other child? To be born into a world where so much attention and care is focused on your older brother. If we did have another child, they deserve our attention. They deserve just as much focus. But with these circumstances... how do you balance that?
I know a lot of other families already had multiple children when this happened to their child. They didn't really get a choice. And that's okay. You do what you have to do. You split your time the best you can. You have no choice. I have a choice. We have a choice.
Would it be a tease to have another child, finally give Todd the sibling he begged for, and him not be able to fully interact? I know he is aware enough to understand that he had a sibling. He may not be able to communicate with us, but he understands his surroundings.
This decision obviously isn't going to be made until several years from now... but it's a recurring thought. Especially with the dreams I was having those first couple of weeks. I'm 99% sure I know where Todd's heart condition came from (which is not my genes)... but what if that 1% is me. What if I do carry some god awful gene that helped cause this? I don't want to do that to another child.
(this is Todd with one of his best friend's baby brother, he'd make such a good big brother)
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