Mama Lion

I have an alter ego. Brian has named her 'Mama Lion.' She comes out whenever I am tired, frustrated, angry, irritable, determined, or overwhelmed with any other negative emotion. She has been around for awhile, but I think ever since we have been in the hospital she has been more of a constant in our lives.

I believe Brian chose the name based off the book ' Mama Llama.' But since Todd is a lion, lion head, lion heart.... that makes me Mama Lion. Not to mention I kind of act like a wild lion...

I am a very passionate, feeling, extroverted person. Once upon a time I was ashamed of it and often had people complaining about it, but I choose now to embrace it. This type of personality is what got me through life. I have a problem with thinking that my way is always better and getting irritated when people do things differently (even if they are just as efficient). Brian is a very smart person as well. He has learned to do things in different ways than I have. Naturally... we butt heads. Luckily, he is a very passive, go with the flow, roll with the punches type of person. Otherwise, we would either A) not be together or B) have killed each other by now. I do end up apologizing in the end... normally.

Now that we have been in the hospital, which, for the sake of keeping with the theme, is my natural habitat, I am a bit overbearing at times (most of the time). We do a lot of the hygiene, cleaning, daily care etc for Todd. When it comes to doing these things, since this is what I do for a living, I think I know best and I can be very critical. Unfortunately, Brian usually ends up being the one these critiques are aimed at. Fortunately for me, he attributes my fits of rage over not putting the diaper on correctly or laying down the linen perfectly to my Mama Lion personality. He brushes it off... How did I find such an awesome man?

Then there are the times where he gets lucky. My fits of rage get directed at the nurses or medical team, not him. Mama Lion comes out to play when I don't agree with something or when I'm sitting here watching my child's condition deteriorate. No, I do not work in pediatrics. No, my specialty is not cardiology. But, I know my child and I know ICU nursing. That's all I need. Yes, the regular Lauren will ask questions and make suggestions first. But when that fails... all bets are off. Mama Lion comes out and takes care of business.

Mama Lion has been quite productive with making sure Todd gets adequate care, but she's also caused me to have to apologize to a number of people. Most of which have been pretty understanding (thank god).

I have fought hard to give Todd the best life I can. I fought through the end of high school. I fought through college. I fought through nursing school. I fought through some pretty crappy beginning of career jobs.... & I'm going to keep fighting for him.