Oh, the Places You'll Go!

We've been reading to Todd since the beginning. Hearing is one of the few senses you retain even in the deepest of comas/sleeps. Our hope was that he would hang on to our voice, stay strong through it.

We brought several books from home, some we liked, some he liked. Many people bought us books as well. A favorite of mine is Dr. Seuss's 'Oh, the Places You'll Go.' I've loved this book since I was a child. You can tell by the way the book is falling apart. To be honest, I probably need to buy a new copy. I wanted to read this book to him probably more for myself than for him. It was a book I enjoyed, a book that made me feel better. I had no idea that this would happen.

"Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest. Except when you don't. Because, sometimes, you won't. I'm sorry to say so but, sadly it's true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you. You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You'll be left in a Lurch. You'll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you'll be in a Slump. And when you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done."

I choked. Wow. How can this book relate to this situation so well? I wasn't sure if I could keep reading. I wasn't sure that I wanted to. This was a Bang-up. He is in a Lurch. Un-slumping himself is what he's been trying to do. I kept going...

"The Waiting Place... for people just waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or a No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting."

Again. Really? We've been here 37 days... 5 weeks and 2 days. We've been waiting. Waiting for surgery. Waiting for him to wake up. Waiting for answers. Waiting to go home. Waiting to go to rehab. Waiting for progress. This book was published the year I was born... how could it relate so much? I cried. I tried to choke back the tears, I didn't want Todd to hear the tremble in my voice. I wanted him to hear confidence, love, and strength. These are the things he needs most right now. It took everything in me, but it was important that I finished this book. He needed to know that you can't give up. Even, when things are hard, even when they hurt, you have to keep fighting. 

I finished the book in tears. I wanted so badly for him to wake up. For him to read the book to me. This is the part where he is supposed to look at me and say, 'Mommy, it'll be okay.' 

We'll continue to read to him and all I can hope is that one day he will wake up and tell me he remembered it and that it helped.